😬 Groan-Worthy One-Liners Dad Jokes

I used to be addicted to soap… but I’m clean now.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I used to play piano by ear… now I use my hands.

I’d tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.

I know they say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

I told my suitcase there’s no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

I tried to catch some fog yesterday. I mist.