🎄 Holiday Dad Jokes

Christmas

• Why did Santa go to music school? So he could improve his “wrap” skills.

• I told my kids I was on the nice list. They said, “That list must be broken.”

• What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.

Halloween

• Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.

• I tried to make a skeleton joke, but it didn’t have enough backbone.

• What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? Stake.

Thanksgiving

• Why did the turkey join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.

• I told my family I was thankful for elastic waistbands.

• What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing wing!

Valentine’s Day

• I asked my wife if she wanted chocolate. She said, “Only if it’s shaped like your sense of humor.”

• Why did the dad give his wife a calculator for Valentine’s Day? Because she was his total package.

• Love is in the air… or maybe that’s just dad’s cologne.

New Year’s

• My New Year’s resolution is to stop making dad jokes… but I’m already off to a pun-ishing start.

• I stayed up until midnight to watch the ball drop. Turns out, it was just my motivation.

• Why did the calendar get promoted? It had a lot of dates.